Wedding RSVPs: how to collect replies from your guests

What to ask your guests

Every extra question is another reason for a guest to put off replying. Ask only what you will genuinely use, and know who needs each answer. Pick from the list below:

Will you be attending?

Ask for each invited person by name, not “how many of you will come”. A reply saying “three of us are coming” doesn't tell you which family member is staying home.

Which parts of the day will you join?

Only needed if you invite different groups to the ceremony, wedding meal, and evening party, or if some guests plan to leave early.

What is your plus-one's name?

Only for guests to whom you have offered a plus-one. You will need the name for place cards and the seating plan.

How old are the children?

Their ages tell the caterer how many children's portions to prepare and the venue how many high chairs or cots to set out.

Which main course would you like?

Only if your caterer offers a choice of plated mains — for example meat, fish, or vegetarian.

Do you have any food allergies or dietary requirements?

Ask for each person individually. A nut allergy applies to a specific guest at a specific seat, not vaguely to a whole table.

Do you need overnight accommodation?

Useful when you are arranging or recommending rooms. Ask how many nights they plan to stay too.

How are you getting there?

Helpful when organising a shuttle bus or managing limited parking. Guests driving themselves may also have spare seats to offer others.

What song will get you on the dance floor?

Optional, but a fun way to build a playlist your guests love. Hand the list over to your band or DJ before the wedding.

Food allergies and health restrictions are sensitive personal data. Collect only what the kitchen needs and share it only with your caterer.

When to set your RSVP deadline

Your RSVP deadline isn't set by arbitrary etiquette — it is dictated by your venue and caterer. Count backwards from the date you have to give suppliers your final numbers.

1. Ask your venue and caterer when they need the final headcount and meal breakdown. If you are holding a room block, check when unbooked rooms must be released.
2. Take the earliest of those supplier cutoffs — everything else works backwards from that date.
3. Subtract two weeks. That gives you breathing room to send friendly reminders and call anyone who hasn't replied.
4. Print the resulting date on your invitation as the RSVP deadline. Guests should have at least three to four weeks between receiving the invitation and the deadline.

Example

Your wedding is on Saturday 12 June. The caterer wants final meal numbers by 29 May, while the guesthouse needs room confirmations by 15 May. The earlier cutoff is 15 May. Subtracting two weeks for follow-up calls puts the RSVP deadline on your invitations at 1 May — which means sending invitations out by early April at the latest.

Paper card, phone, or wedding website?

Each option has its place. What matters most is that every reply ends up in one shared list that both of you can see.

Printed RSVP card

Pairs nicely with traditional printed stationery and is appreciated by older relatives. Bear in mind that post takes time, some cards go astray, and you still have to type every reply into your master list. Small cards also leave little room for menu choices or allergies.

Phone calls and messages

Quick and personal, especially for a smaller wedding. The catch is that replies end up scattered across WhatsApp, SMS, and different people's phones — making it easy to forget that one partner is gluten-free or a cousin's child isn't coming after all.

Online RSVP form

Guests reply from their phone whenever it suits them, and every answer lands straight in one overview. For relatives who prefer not to use a website, keep a phone number on the invitation and enter their reply into the same list on their behalf.

How to ask for RSVPs on the invitation

One clear sentence is enough: state the deadline, how to reply, and what to mention. A vague “please let us know” without a date is usually read as “let us know whenever”.

Please RSVP by 1 May on our wedding website or by calling [phone number], and let us know about any dietary requirements.

For full invitation wording templates — including plus-ones and adults-only wording — see our invitation guide: Wedding announcement and invitation wording examples

How to handle changes after the deadline

Passing the RSVP deadline doesn't mean nothing will change afterwards. Having a calm response ready for common situations makes life much easier.

A guest cancels after the deadline

Thank them for letting you know and update your list immediately. If you have already submitted final numbers, ask the caterer whether the meal count can still be adjusted — your contract will state whether late cancellations are chargeable.

A guest asks to bring an extra person

Agree between the two of you beforehand how you will handle extra plus-one requests and apply the same rule fairly to everyone. If you don't have the space or budget, say so warmly and briefly without over-explaining.

A guest replies after the deadline saying they want to come

If the venue and caterer can still accommodate them, add them in. Update your master list straight away and check your seating plan, place cards, and transport.

Someone falls ill in the final week

It happens at almost every wedding. Let the venue and caterer know, remove their place card, and don't stress over it.

Keeping all replies in one place

Keep a single guest list organised by household and track a clear status for every individual: attending, declined, or awaiting reply. Keep “awaiting reply” separate from “declined” — someone who hasn't answered yet hasn't said no.

Whether a guest replies by card, phone, or website, log every answer in the same master list so both partners always see the same numbers. From that list, hand your caterer:

• the number of adults and children for each part of the day,
• the breakdown of menu choices,
• allergies and dietary requirements tied to specific names — ideally with their table number.

In the planner, you can manage guests by household for free — including plus-ones, children, and dietary needs — and export a clean Excel sheet for your caterer. Guest list in the planner

With a wedding website, each household gets a personal invitation link. Guests confirm attendance for each part of the day for everyone in their household, choose their meal, and note any allergies. They can update their reply right up until the deadline you set, and every response flows straight into your guest list without manual copying. A wedding website costs 1 499 Kč, and the first 10 couples get it for 999 Kč with the code PRVNICH10. How a wedding website with online RSVP works